Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Years ago, the darkness of depression took hold of my life in the worst way. Depression was something I struggled with, but I always managed to come out from that suffocating black cloud. This time was different. I spent days and nights on my couch with the shades drawn, isolated from my family and friends. Days turned into weeks, the darkness grew more profound, and the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to move further out of reach. The enemy seized his opportunity and screamed his lies at me. At night, he tormented me with ugly nightmares and reminders of my past.

One glorious morning, a group of God-fearing warriors invaded my fortress of sadness. A pastor and several women (all of whom were family) came barreling up the yard like a street gang on a mission. They tore through the door, raised the blinds to let the sunlight in, and as I protested, they prayed. The pastor went “old school” and anointed my forehead with anointing oil. My holy gang laid their hands on me and cried out to heaven. Together they pleaded, declared, and received healing for the illness that was fighting to claim my mind and spirit. It was a battle, and my family and I stood victorious on that day in the Name of Jesus. I was delivered.

On rare occasions, when I feel the dark cloud approaching, I tap into my spiritual toolbox to guide me away from the dark and back to the light—worship music, journaling, time with God in prayer, and reading His Word.

Some of you may question, “why would He do that for her and not me — or my mom, my sister, my best friend – as we face our own battles?” I have asked this question after the loss of loved ones. Friend, I do not know why God heals some people and not others. I know this is frustrating – to the point that we become angry with God. He understands our anger, our frustration, and our questions. We must never forget He is still God, and we must be careful about letting our experiences become our theology.

I am confident in the spiritual truth that God’s ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). I trust that what He allows into our lives, He will use for the benefit of His Kingdom.

We often forget we do not live in eternity. We temporarily reside in this broken world. On this earth, there will always be death and disease. We cannot escape it. Even after Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, he eventually died. Though I was saved from depression, I struggle with health issues that I prayed about and asked God to heal. I am still waiting patiently (most days). In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul reveals that he struggled with a health issue that never left him. He still went on to preach the gospel, build churches all over the world, and bring many to salvation. No one would ever die if it were God’s will to heal everyone.

Friend, I hope you will join me in holding on to Jesus, no matter the answer to your prayers. In the pain of loss or the struggle of sickness, let’s hold on to The One who will one day take it all from us and make us new.

Prayer:

Father, I know You are good. Help me when things seem hopeless. When my spirit is tired, fill it with strength and courage to believe and trust in You. When illness or disease afflicts my body, protect my mind and spirit so that, even in my suffering I may point this dying world to You.

Amen